Blogging?

Well. After reading a couple of friends' from high school's blogs I thought I would try it out. My life as of recently has been some what of a disaster slash jumbled mess. In November I tore disc L4/L5 and bulged disc L5/S1 in my back. I have never have a kid but hear it's pretty painful. I couldn't bend over, roll over in bed, and my left butt check would go to sleep if I sat to long. By the end of November I was able to roll over in bed on my own. One would have thought I was 1 again, having to have my mom roll me over in bed. Many times I didn't want to wake or bother her so I would just lay in bed, in pain. A couple of times I called Nathan, my brother, who was in the next room to help me. He's young, he doesn't need his sleep. In early November I received a letter from Portland Police indicating I had passed my written test with them. The next step was to go through an oral interview in January. Again I passed my oral interview which moved me to the next step, the Physical Agility Test. The problem arose that I was still on lite duty and still unable to pick the bath mat off the floor. (When I was able to it was considered a giant leap in what I thought was recovery. I was scheduled for my PAT test for February, I called and postponed it until March. I was supposed to go do the PAT test March 8th but again still was unable to bend over. At this point in my career I'm limited on where I can work as a Paramedic. One could try to get a job with a fire department, try being the operative word. ( I of course don't understand why anyone would knowingly run into a burning building so that option is out. ) I can work in one of the ERs as a tech however the pay is peanuts compared to the responsibly put on you and the crap you have to seal with. The only other choice locally is to work for a private agency, which is where I still work. You work long hours, get told your not good enough, are required to have 48 hours of continuing education every 2 years, and get paid nothing near what you should. I have reached a decision that this profession is no longer something I can physically do.. I ask myself well if I can't be a Paramedic can a really be a Cop? I'm still not sure. The idea is a nice one: PERS, good benefits, being part of a team where your co-workers aren't out to out do you, and I can see being a detective 5 years down the road. True it's still in EMS but I do enjoy medicine. After all I became a Paramedic while I was Pre-Med in college then decided that I liked it. The other path I have seen myself taking is as a nurse. I have the prereques finished as of Next Friday after my final in Microbiology. .....All in all I'm really t a point where I don't know what I want to do. I'm feeling overwhelmed and a little lost.